National Association of Black Wedding Officiants

The Unity Sand Ceremony

2007-11-03T23:20:00.001-07:00

The Unity Sand Ceremony is a novel alternative for the popular "unity candle ceremony" incorporated into many of today's weddings. The essence is to symbolize the union of "two into one. This sand version is not only beautiful and interesting but also more appropriate for an outdoor setting. With the addition of fresh flowers, these distinctive vases will make an intriguing addition to a home's decor...check out more about it here on My Divine Wedding.com

How Do You Write Your Own Vows?

2007-11-03T23:05:00.001-07:00

Q: How Do You Write Your Own Vows?

A: Many couples choose to compose their own vows. You might be surprised how effectively you can write. It's the "getting it down on paper" that’s difficult for some people.

*Just Say It. Don’t sit down to write. Instead, get a tape recorder. Say what you really want to say. Don't worry about the words. Take your time, talk more than you need to, if that will help. Then replay the tape. Find the phrases or sentences that really work, that communicate your true intent. If something on the tape makes you laugh, cry, smile, it’s a winner.

*Be Simple. Good writing doesn’t require big words or long sentences. It should aim to successfully communicate particular thoughts, sentiments or ideas.

*Be Specific. Stay away from broad generalities ("I will love you forever") and focus on small specific expressions of love. If you write about one specific event ("I promise to always dry if you wash, and wash if you dry") you write, by extension, about all events.

Click here to find out more

18 Questions to Ask Your Religious Officiant

2007-11-03T22:51:00.000-07:00

When you meet with a potential officiant, you'll discuss your wedding plans, find out if the officiant is open to your ideas, ask about any requirements, and decide if the three of you want to work together. Here's an overview of questions to ask your intended officiant.

Before the Meeting

1. Is the officiant available on your date?
2. What documents should you bring to the first meeting?
3. Is the officiant open to personalized vows, readings, poems, or music?
4. Will the officiant give a sermon or speech?
5. What kind of pre-wedding counseling is required, if any?
6. What is the ceremony fee? Is the fee a donation?

When You Meet

7. Can you tour the sanctuary or ceremony room?

(Check seating capacity, number of aisles, general layout, and wheelchair accessibility, if that's a concern.)

8. What does the site provide and what would you provide yourselves (pew ribbons, aisle runner, flowers, candles)?
9. Are there any restrictions on the type of music you can play or on the readings?
10. Will the officiant offer input on your vows and proposed readings?
11. Will you have input on the sermon and/or hear it in advance?
12. Is there a dress code?
13. Can the officiant help you deal with family conflicts connected

to the ceremony?
14. Should you bring your marriage license to the ceremony, or will you sign it before the wedding?
15. Can you have a videographer and photographer in the sanctuary/ceremony room? Is flash photography allowed?

16. Are there any restrictions on tossing items (rice, petals, bird seed)?
17. When should the rehearsal be held?

18. When the officiant (and his/her spouse) like to come to the reception and rehearsal dinner? Would (s)he play a role there (such as giving a blessing)?

10 Questions to Ask Your Civil Officiant

2007-11-03T22:48:00.000-07:00

If you've decided to have a civil ceremony but aren't sure how to choose an officiant, here are nine questions you definitely want to ask.

1. Is the officiant available on your wedding date?

2. Can the officiant travel to your chosen wedding site?

3. If you don't have a site, can the officiant suggest one or provide a courthouse or meeting room?

4. Does the officiant charge a standard fee? Is the fee a donation?

5. How long has the officiant been performing weddings? Why does he/she do them?

6. Does the officiant have sample wording/ceremonies/readings to show you?

7. Will the officiant let you specify ceremony details such as music, readings, and vows? Can you include religious touches if desired?

8. Is the officiant available for a ceremony rehearsal?

9. Does the officiant make you comfortable? Does he or she seem genuinely interested in you as a couple? Be sure you like and respect your officiant -- and that the feeling is mutual.

10. Would the officiant (and his/her spouse) like to come to the reception and rehearsal dinner?